For example, despite Roger Goodell's audition for the role of hammer-wielding administrator, the off-field behavior of many employees will require the hiring of about 32 assume-the-position coaches.
The possible return of Brett Favre provoked many otherwise reasonable citizens into facing Kiln, Miss., every day at sunrise.
Based on personnel inactivity, the Chicago Bears seemed to be considering the survival tactic of punting on first down.
A checkbook flurry from Al Davis led many to believe the Oakland Raiders' "maverick" managing general partner had mistaken himself for Daniel Snyder.
Pacman Jones was busy stripping himself of his own nickname.
And the beat went on.
But that won't stop us from embracing professional football — as it is interpreted by the NFL — as America's prevailing spectator activity. Oh, there are challengers, but until another sport makes a quantum leap forward, the NFL is king.
Here are 15 reasons why:
Parity
Sure, you probably despise the P-word, but it represents the potential for hope when none seemed available just one season earlier.
You may not even understand what parity — as encouraged by the NFL — refers to.
In NFL terms, parity means we'll never believe the NFC can produce a team capable of knocking off the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl until it happens.
Pace
With the exception of those times when a hitter attempts to strangle a pitcher for throwing a bit inside, Major League Baseball is no match for the NFL's tempo.
The NBA is at the same time afflicted by an exaggerated pace preferred by coaches with little interest in defense, and a methodical tempo created by control freaks who don't know how to coach offense.
The NFL strikes that happy medium, using its play clock to create a break between plays that allows fans to take two significant gulps of beer and consume three chicken wings without missing any action.
Money
Yeah, top-tier rookies receive a ridiculous windfall and signing bonuses can be obscene, but the NFL's multiyear contracts aren't guaranteed.
Thanks to the salary cap, a player can make the Pro Bowl one season and be let go before the next.
That sort of comeuppance makes the NFL truly popular with the working man.
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| Peyton Manning's image is plastered all over the place, but NFL is not a star-driven league according to Randy Hill. (Andy Lyons / Getty Images) |
Emphasis on team
Even though we see commercials starring Peyton Manning an average of 137 times per Sunday, the NFL is not a star-driven league. Even if Favre sticks with his retirement threat, the league will not be irreparably harmed if Brett fails to return.
The NBA, on the other hand, went through some lean years when Michael Jordan decided to visit the sand trap on a regular basis.
The bye week
The bye week enables your team to dump its starting quarterback and prepare his back-up for a starting assignment that could — without ample practice time — register as an abject disaster.
It also provides the league's less responsible employees additional time to get into trouble in another city.
Sudden death
The NFL's overtime-resolution system almost never allows an early game to extend into the second quarter of a late game scheduled to be telecast on the same channel.
In-game officials
By insisting that its referees work on a part-time basis, the NFL prevents these on-field arbiters from having enough spare time to forge outside alliances with those who promote gambling.
NFL Draft
Quite simply, the draft reminds fans they may not be that much dumber than those hired to make personnel decisions for NFL teams.
Thanks to the predraft evaluation process, workers in other professions may be judged as superior job applicants without actually being as qualified as other applicants.
Coaching
Coaching interaction is so vital to every play in a professional football game that no NFL franchise would consider hiring a coach with zero coaching experience ... even if he is Vinny Del Negro.
Wide receivers
They have established definitive proof that the United States can produce egomaniacs with no discernible connection to Hollywood or politics.
Special teams
The existence of special teams and their signature moments creates even more opportunities for violent collisions.
Stats matter, records don't
You probably know how many home runs Babe Ruth or Hank Aaron hit, but you may have difficulty coming up with Emmitt Smith's career rushing total.
That's one reason why football fans don't seem to care that a pass-rusher's sack total may be abetted by the use of performance-enhancing substances. It's another reason why NFL executives didn't pretend that use of these substances was alien to their league.
They just suspend the offender for a few games and move on.
Fantasy and gambling
Fantasy football followers have established the main reason why stats matter, and this sweeping interest in numbers has generated a huge subculture of NFL fans.
We won't pretend to suggest that wagering has less than a huge influence on the sport's popularity.
Quarterbacks
With the possible exceptions of U.S. president, heart surgeon and last-minute FTD delivery guy, no job presents as much pressure to excel in the clutch.
It also should be noted that without the presence of quarterbacks, the responsibility of dating the nation's hot blonde singers and supermodels could fall to that poor slob George Clooney.
Playoff system
Nobody seems to worry about it diminishing the importance of the NFL's regular season.
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