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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ten Reasons Why Plaxico Burress Shot Himself

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News has leaked that New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg Friday. Now it begs the question as to why? We at Gunaxin have a couple of ideas:

10. His opponent in fantasy football was starting him this week and he decided to “show” him.

9. He was snipe hunting.

8. It was the first time all year he managed to find his way around a safety and he just got too excited.

7. He’s been watching too much 8 Mile and Cheddar Bob is his favorite character.

6. The playoffs were coming and he felt he needed to even the playing field a little. I mean he can still burn Ellis Hobbs on one leg.

5. He wants to join the Oakland Raiders and thought this was a guaranteed in.

4. He simply decided to shoot off something other than his mouth for once.

3. He thought he was at the movies. Just ask Chris Rock

2. He is involved in an ultimate game of one-upsmanship with Adam “Pac-Man” Jones. Your move Pac-Man.

1. He was Keepin’ It Real.

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